February 18, 2011

How to piss off your employees: Department offsite

Here's how to piss off your employees when setting up a department offsite:

1)      Propose to have a department offsite.

2)      Tell employees that it will be in Palm Springs and that there will be golf and spa treatments.

3)      Realize that you underestimated the cost of such a trip.

4)      Tell employees that golf and spa treatments will be at the employees own expense.

5)      Find out that someone in the company has a minority stake in a shitty winery in Temecula.

6)      Speculate that you can finagle a bargain deal at the shitty winery in Temecula.

7)      Tell employees that department offsite will now be in Temecula and that lodging will be at a local motel.

8)      Get told by employee who owns minority stake in shitty winery that no discounts are available.

9)      Decide to move offsite to Las Vegas because you heard hotel rooms are really cheap, like $29 a night cheap.

10)   Tell employees that offsite will now be in Las Vegas.

11)   Find out that hotel rooms will probably cost more than $29.

12)   Cancel department offsite.

13)   Don’t mention anything about department offsite hoping employees will simply forget.

Just like everything else on the site, the above is based on actual events at my crappy company.


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