Our investment sucks as bad as JaMarcus Russell

Yesterday I received a performance report on one of our recent corporate investments.  How is it doing?  Imagine if you will that you're in a parallel universe where the Raiders drafted JaMarcus Russell number one overall and gave him a $61 million contract, $32 million of it guaranteed.  And in this parallel universe Mr. Russell didn't just kinda suck and get fat, but rather in every game during his first season he took a big fat shit in the middle of field and started rolling around in it.  That's it.  No throws, no rushes, not even a simple hand off to a running back.  Just him defecating like a mother fucker in the middle of the field and then rolling around in all the brown, smelly shit.

That, my friends, is how our investment is doing.