January 20, 2011

They giveth the Flavia, they taketh it away

flavia coffee
Flavia coffee isn't exactly great coffee, however, compared to the military issue worse-than-Folgers coffee that my company normally provides its employees, Flavia is like manna from heaven.  That is why I was so excited when a Flavia machine showed up in our break room a few months ago.  There were a variety of Flavia drink choices from a House Blend to some super-sweet chocolate concoction that made my teeth hurt with every sip.  It was all glorious.

Then one day, there was no more Flavia.  Don't get me wrong, the Flavia machine was still there, but all the Flavia drink packets were gone.  I asked my admin when we would be getting some more.  She told me we weren't.  Apparently the department that ordered the Flavia machine in the first place was pissed that other people not in the department, including the Chief Mockery Officer, were drinking their Flavia.  They refuse to order more Flavia packets until our department chips in.  Of course, since we are the cheapest damn department in the company, we refuse to pitch in the $41 a month or so to keep the Flavia flowing.

So now I'm stuck drinking our "Superior" brand coffee, which I can assure you is only superior to toilet water, and having a perfectly good Flavia machine mock me every time I go into the break room.  The real retardation about this petty Flavia battle is that we're all part of the same company.  Whether the Flavia is funded by our department, the other department, or both, it comes out of the same coffers.

I think I'll go ahead and sell the Flavia machine on eBay and use the proceeds to buy my own damn coffee.


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Chief Mockery Officer is owned and operated by The Jaba Group.