I'm also hiring someone to tweet for me

Following in Marc Jacobs' footsteps, I too will be hiring someone to manage my Twitter account.  As Chief Mockery Officer, I am a busy man and don't have time during the day to entertain my 84 Twitter followers with humorous and witty tweets.  The ideal candidate will be an attractive female (do not question my ways) who can come up with interesting tweets four or five times a day.  Some travel may be required, primarily to Las Vegas where you will tweet about all my baller shenanigans.  This is a paid position with competitive pay commensurate with those offered by other websites with Google Page Rankings of 0.  If you're interested in applying, please submit your resume to chiefmockeryofficer@gmail.com.