For the first time in over a decade at this crappy
company, I did not receive stock options as part of my bonus. Surprisingly it had nothing to do with my 2 hour work weeks, complete
disregard for all company policies, or inappropriate use of body hair in the office. No, rather it's part of the on-going screwage of the
company employees in the name of earnings per share. I was completely behind
this option limitation trend when it was only effecting rank and file
employees. But now that it has impacted someone of my seniority and
stature – I’m the Chief Mockery Officer for goodness sakes – I
think this is utter bullshit.
Don’t
get me wrong, it’s not like our options are worth anything considering
our stock price has moved in lock-step with that of a Barry Bonds rookie
card. But it was a nice symbolic gesture that unfortunately is a thing
of the past. Perhaps in the future the company will consider giving out put options
to employees. Now that will be worth some real money.
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